m/f

One of the things I think is so interesting here is the male/female dynamic and how those relationships operate. Many of my students, upon finding out my age, ask if I am not worried about getting married. A typical Chinese woman wants to be married by the age of 30, and probably working on having a child by then as well. When I explain that I do not want to have children and am not particularly worried about getting married, if it happens it happens, they are just confused. Granted, a lot of Westerners feel the same way, so that part is not so different.

I have a Chinese friend that has been with her boyfriend for almost three years; they have been dating long distance for two. She loves him. My friend comes from a fairly well to do family, her parents worked in the government. I have to imagine her boyfriend does as well since he goes to university in Moscow, which sounds expensive. Her mother does not think he is a suitable match for her though, because he does not come from enough money and will not make enough money, so she will not marry him, even though she wants to. She will marry whomever her mother tells her to, because she thinks her mother is always right. So she is fine with the idea of an arranged marriage for money, not love. I think it is especially interesting in her case, because her mother did not marry the man her parents told her to, she finished university instead and chose her own match.

Chinese men pay for everything here for their women, and the women's friends. Women want to have a boyfriend in university because it will save them a lot of money. It's strategy!

 

I have a prepaid phone here and when I receive texts telling me I am running low on funds, they come through in Chinese so I never know I will run out until it happens. I ran out the other day and a male Chinese friend of mine tried to call. Upon receiving the message back that my phone was off, he put enough money on it to last me probably at least six months (apparently all you need to do this is someone's phone number). I had no idea how my phone was working again, but my TA knew right away that a boy had paid for it. Never in my entire life have I had a many try to pay my phone bill, I felt like the beginnings of a kept woman!