1. I saw a rat the size of a guinea pig fall from a freeway overpass onto an old lady's shoulder. Hilarity ensued. Many Chinese are afraid of tiny pet dogs, so if you can imagine a pet dog sized rat...
2. A child in one of my classes threw a fit and wouldn't let other kids draw cards from his hand during a game of Old Maid. After he started crying about it, my Chinese teaching assistant explained to me that he was upset because he didn't want to lose money. He's five.
3. I invited a Chinese friend to do something later in the week, four days in advance to be exact. The day I invited her she told me she wouldn't be able to come, four days later, because her boyfriend has diarrhea.
4. I saw a guy riding a bike in a t-shirt that said, "MICHAEL JACKSON NEVER TOUCHED ME."
5. An elevator opened in my building to two twenty-something men fiercely, and I mean fiercely, making out, who then proceeded to do a terrible and fantastically awkward job of pretending nothing happened as they got out of the elevator. Too bad being gay isn't allowed here.
6. When buying multiple cases of beer for a party, the shop owner asked me if I had friends coming over. I explained that I did because of a holiday and she asked me if it had to do with Jesus. Priceless.
