cold, bed after baby, families & planning

The Chinese are very averse to cold and they think of sickness, aches and pains and any other physical ailments as cold being in their bodies. For example, when I had cupping done, the woman told me it was to remove the cold wind, and the places where I bruised more heavily were where I had more cold.

This is why they don't drink cold beverages, they don't think you should touch cold things, they never have skin showing until it is ungodly hot, etc. If you are getting sick, they think you need to drink something hot and maybe sit in a sauna to drive out the cold.

A student of mine that I would consider to be very modern and forward/western thinking told me that she gave birth to her daughter in August, so she thought it was sometimes too hot to wear socks. She said she got very sick after that and now her feet bother her regularly as a result of her letting the cold get in them.

Chinese believe that a woman cannot get out of bed after giving birth, she must rest, take care of her baby and keep the cold away since she is weak at that time. Traditionally, her mother in law must come take care of her and she is expressly forbidden to leave the house. That same student said she knows western women are up and about immediately after child birth, but that our bodies must be different. Maybe after all these years of following the practice of staying in bed for a month, it's true and Chinese women's bodies have evolved a little differently, who knows, but somehow I doubt it they could be that different.

Also, apparently abortions are very easy to get in China, which makes sense since everyone is only supposed to have only one child. They don't get a whole lot of sexual/family planning education in school though; I can't remember if I've mentioned it or not before, but I had a 12 year old female tutoring student in Tianjin who didn't know what a period, tampons or pads were, not even the Chinese words. Poor girl is in for an unfortunately surprise, I felt bad for her. I couldn't explain it to her though, I definitely have that "it's not my place" idea ingrained in me. Someone else told me that their teacher gave her class all a book about sex and bodies and such in high school one day and told them all to read it alone.

If Chinese want to have more than one child, I found out they can get a permit and then they don't need to pay the tax. They must go through their employer to get one (can you say awkward conversation? except not, since it's normal here, but it sounds awkward for me). If they have one without a permit, their employer must pay a tax in addition to them, because it means the employer is not in charge of their employees and not taking adequate measures for family planning. They must sign an agreement every year with their employer saying they won't have more than one child. And the government gives them all money for having only one.

Family relationships are also a lot more complicated than I first thought. Chinese call everyone their age "brother" or "sister," and I assumed it was because they don't actually have brothers or sisters. Actually, in the Chinese language, there is a different word for the relationship between every single family member, except for peers (i.e. cousins). So, there is a different word for say your relationship to your mom's older sister versus her younger sister or your dad's sister. I'm not sure why the relationships to those older and younger than you are more specific than those with the family members in your age bracket. Very complicated and interesting though!